I'm a Little Teapot?

Okay, so I blew it this morning. Yesterday afternoon, too, for that matter. All of sudden 'the old man' or my temper is rising up at a moment's notice.

Yesterday, I became irate with my husband because he took a little extra time to come home and help with the kiddos so that I could clean house. I feel terrible about it now. He walks in with a lovely, fresh haircut and it ticked me off! Poor J, he probably that he was in for a compliment (is there anything hotter than a hubby with a fresh haircut?) and instead he got steamrolled.

This morning, Carter wanted to goof off instead of getting ready for school. Typical 7 year old behavior -- where did my patience and tolerance go? I was so frustrated that I could hardly contain myself. I felt like a tea kettle with boiling water inside whose whistle is sounding through and through the house. I'm glad I saw him at school at lunchtime so we could reconnect!

It's times like these that remind me how much I need You, Jesus. Help me to remember to crucify my flesh (that stubborn old man) and be made new daily in You. Lord I'm asking for extra measures of your patience and tolerance today and the rest of this week. Fill me up with Your extravagant love for my husband and my kids (who I think I love sooo much but I know You love them even more!) Help me --- so that Your love will shine through to my family and all others that I encounter. Help me also to be angry yet sin not!

Workin' it Out

Alright, today was another running milestone day for me . . . 5 miles with a brief sprint at the end. I'm getting there! Well, as far as endurance and strength are concerned. I can't seem to stop eating like I'm still prego. Where is my willpower, determination and self-control when it comes to food (okay, wine too?)

I started working out when Viv was 4 or 5 weeks old. She is now 14 weeks and I've lost about 7 -9 pounds. I just can't seem to get it off as quickly as I'd like to. I know that I really need to start shaving away calories and reducing my portion sizes and keeping it to one glass of wine on occasion. The problem lies within the realization that I really just don't want to. I'd be happy to work out 2, 3 hours a day (I know that's weird, but I really enjoy it) but I really have no desire to cut back the caloric intake.

I guess I need to change my mindset from thinking that I can eat/drink extra calories because I'm running/working out frequently to thinking that I don't want the extra calories because I don't want to waste my workout.

The night before . . .

Here I am, the night before MNO (the single Mom's Night Out event at VN) cutting construction paper hearts. I'm tired, my hands are tired but I'm so happy to do it. There's even a smile on my face while I'm thinking about how the kids might enjoy making a valentine for their moms tomorrow and how much their moms might enjoy receiving them!

I think tomorrow night is going to be amazing . . . everything is starting to fall into place (after a couple of shake-ups, but that's normal, right?) We've got great volunteer staff on board, good topics, good food, great moms attending . . . I know God has great things in store for us!

However, I did forget two very important things today. I was supposed to help at Carter's school at lunch time and I was supposed to go to my friend Tammy's daughter Alicia's volleyball game. So, maybe it is time for me to buy a planner?

Baby Vivian (14 weeks old) slept 10 hours last night and I'm praying that she'll do it again! I need to wake up at 7 to get Carter ready for school, feed all 3 kids, pack lunch, get us out the door to the Y for spin class, home to get things ready for work tonight, take care of my kiddos plus any last minute details that might pop up for MNO (Mom's Night Out,) try to take a nap (I am working third shift tomorrow night, after all,) go to MNO, execute the plan, go to work. After I punch out around 7:30, I have to go to the credit union in the am to attend to some business and then . . . sleeeeep . . . .

More from the parenting study, 'Raising Responsive Children'

Biggest takeaways from todays' lesson to follow.

"From infancy, input from the outside continually shapes how our children perceive themselves. They aren't wrapped up in who they think they are, but in who they think others think they are, and parents are their most influential 'other.'

and

"Charles Boyd 'tells us 'You are a mirror your child looks into every day, and you reflect back to her what she will come to believe about herself.'

and

"Every time we interact with our children we send a message that conveys what they perceive we think of them - that they're smart or stupid, untrustworthy or reliable, capable or inept, fun or dull, lovely or unlovely. Good or bad, our messages will remain in their database, and there's no 'delete' button we or they can hit to remove the unwanted, unhelpful, or even unintentional input. Because God knows our kids, He can help us with the healthy messages crucial to shaping a healthy concept of themselves."

(all bolds and italics mine for emphasis)

I'm so grateful to serve a God who can use even me. I'm ever more grateful that he can take my mistakes and use them for His glory. I'm happy to know that all things work together for the good of them that love Him.

Lord, help me to see my children through Your eyes. Help me to see the individual uniqueness that you have given them to allow them to become who you have created them to be. Help Jeff and I to send our children good messages that let them know that they are loved, valuable, special, beloved and a part of Your perfect plan.

Can't sleep . . . augh.

On weekdays my full-time job is that of a SAHM (stay at home mom.) On weekends, I work third shift as a polysomnographic technologist (sleep studies.) Today, Saturday, is my sleep recovery day and then I will work again tonight. About an hour ago, my favorite little noisy tornado was tearing through the house at full force and volume and woke mommy up. Daddy had his hands full changing baby girl and helping Carter get ready for a birthday party.

It's not hard to fall asleep after you work third shift. It is, however, VERY hard to remain asleep after working third shift. It is even harder to go back to sleep after waking up in 'the middle of the night' so to speak. The sun is up and shining, my family is active and my natural inclination is to get up and go. Oh, and I whine a little, too. Okay, a lot.

I thought if I did a quick 'brain dump' on the blogger it might be easier for me to fall back asleep clear-headed.

This week ahead will be a very busy one! Along with our usual schedule, I am also planning and preparing and recruiting for a ministry event that I have co-led monthly in the past and am now leading on my own. I am so excited about this albeit slightly nervous that I will overlook some important detail or area of the event.

Monthly at Vineyard North we host a single mom's 'Night Out.' We anticipate the RSVPs of anywhere from 12 - 25 ladies and their children. We offer free childcare, a fine restaurant quality dinner and dessert and a short teaching on various topics at the end of the night. This gives the ladies a much needed break, the opportunity to build relationships i.e. community with other moms in their situation and/or Vineyard North women volunteers.

We have a lot of fun getting to know each other better and I love being able to bless these moms in this way. I remember how tough life was when I was a single mom for a couple of years. I also remember how much I appreciated any opportunity to get together with other moms and how helpful it was to live in community with them. Every mom needs that!

I'd love it if you'd partner with me in prayer for the moms attending MNO! I'd really love it, too if you'd pray for me - I need extra measures of wisdom, discernment, creativity and organization.

Alright, I think I'll try to go back to sleep now. ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz . . . .

I love my life!

What could be better than this? A smiling, happy, healthy, beautiful baby girl. A cheerful, exuberant toddler boy with a grin that lights up the darkest room. A sweet, smart, sensitive second grade son. It is true what the psalmist said in

Psalm 127: 3 -5a

"Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are children born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver if full of them . . . "

I'm truly grateful and honored that You created us to be their parents and them to be our children. You have given me great joy!

World's Smallest Tornado

My sweet little Cameron is one strong-willed little tornado. Today, I found myself wondering if we might be able to apply to the Guinness Book of World Records for the number of time-outs in one day. This boy is such a cheerful, sweet, lovable, likable little guy. He seriously is a tornado, tho. Currently Daddy is out at Menard's purchasing two new mini-blinds to replace the ones he has destroyed within days of each other. Yes, Cameron thought it was interesting to see how the blinds broke in half with one quick karate chop or kick. And the vertical blinds, well there are two sections missing in those. Yesterday he scribbled on the wall with pencil. He knows these are unacceptable behaviors.

Do you think this boy is a little bit jealous of the attention baby sister is taking away or what?

POTTY TRAINING

Okay, here's the deal. He'll go number 1 almost anytime we ask him to. He's even gone number 2 on occasion. However, after a full year of being capable, he still opts not to do it.

Time for an intervention. Hello microwave timer. Several of my girlfriends have done this successfully, so here goes. Every 20 minutes for the next two days you are on that toilet seat, like it or not. Cameron Dale, you will be out of diapers by the end of the week (I hope!)

Self talk.

We all do this. I have this constant, internal narrative throughout the course of my day (and sometimes night.) I am forever beating myself up internally for how I could have done something better, been more creative, more patient, more thoughtful, more intelligent or just . . . better.

I participate in a women's Bible study at church on Tuesday mornings and currently we are doing a study from the Following God series entitled, Raising Responsive Children. I think that this study, so far, has been the richest we've done in a long time. The author drops pearls of wisdom in every paragraph and margin.

"If we perpetuate the mindset of 'never good enough,' that's exactly what we become, and it's only a matter of time before we see that same pervasive wave of dissatisfaction in our children."

It's one thing when we choose (sometimes unintentionally) to beat ourselves up. But to pass that along to my kids? No way. I want so much more for them than this.

And what does this say to my Creator? Thanks, Lord, but You could have done better? Oh, Lord, help me to love who I am that You have created. Help me to keep growing into the woman in Christ that you have created me to be!

Talking with some girlfriends around the holidays, one of my favorite people Robyn was sharing some of her excellent advice about parenting. My favorite admonition that she gave was to be encouraged in knowing that 'you are the best parent for your child. God put them in your home on purpose. ' He choose me! For these incredible kiddos! ME! I feel so honored, so privileged and sometimes so unworthy to hold such a noble position.

Back to the starting point. I am deciding right now to choose to change my self-talk. I am going to learn to appreciate the gifts, talents and abilities that my Father has endowed me with and use them to fulfill His purposes. I want to honor Him with my self-talk and model that for my kids.

Thanks for bringing this lesson to my attention, Lord.